I Paid Over $2,700 To Attend My Best Friend’s Wedding, Then She Got Mad At Me When I Told Her I Had No Money Left
Jul. 16, 2024

 

It is not bad enough that you have to show that you are the happiest at your best friend’s wedding while you envy not being at her place. The cherry on the cake, you also have to spend thousands of bucks from your pocket too?

 

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Throwing the best bridal shower, staying with her during the fittings, shed a few tears while you see her wearing the dress for the first time. All this emotional turmoil that girls just gulp like a big glass of water during hiccups and put out the most chirpy personality ever.

 

We are not saying that girls do not want their friends to be happy, it is just they want all of it for them too, and being part of this generation, having committed relationships that last till marriage has become a really hard job.

 

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If you think we are just whining, let us tell you how unreasonable friends become when they want you to be their maid of honor. Here is the story:

 

“So this friend of mine assigned me the role of maid of honor at her wedding and I was over the moon until the reality hit me hard. I knew it is going to be a pricy job and I will have to pitch in money for different things so I set $3500 from my saving aside to spend on the wedding. In my head, I was keeping a little more money than required because why in the world I would need to spend $3500 on somebody else’s wedding? Turned out I was wrong!

 

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I had to spend money on things that were not in my wildest imagination, including, decor and food for the bridal shower, clothes for the wedding, jewelry, shoes, accessories, and a lot of other things that were technically not my responsibility. Now, this is all besides my own shopping.

 

My friend was expecting me to pay for hair and make-up for the wedding and that was also way over my budget. Like seriously! who hires a 250$ an hour makeup artist from the maid of honor's pocket?

 

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At one point I felt like she might ask me to sponsor her honeymoon to Barbados(pun intended). Also, do I look like a rich person who can afford all these things? I was not sure if I should cry or laugh at my state of affairs as nothing seemed to work out for me and I was just soaking everything in.

 

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The bridesmaid dresses we all agreed upon were also crazy expensive for me. Firstly, it does not make sense for me to pay for all the dresses, but $450 is way too much even if everyone has to pay for their own. I can not pay for 6 bridesmaid dresses that would be $2700. My first try was to tell my friend gently that she needs to pay for these things herself.

 

To make things better (well in my own head at least) I told her that my mother could stitch the same dresses for less than half of this price.

 

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What came after this offer was utterly unexpected, all hell broke loose. She blatantly accused me of ripping her off a luxurious dream wedding and trying to make her look like a cheapskate just like myself. I was shocked to hear this from the person who had already made me spend so much of my savings. I am almost out of the $3500 I set aside and not even half of the things are done.

 

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Her accusing me of this was super unfair and on top of it, she declared if I can not be the maid of honor she wants me to be, then I am free to go. Now, what do I do?  And wait this is not the whole story, after suffering so much pocket-wise and emotionally, I am the bad guy, and I am the one receiving calls left right center where every person I know is cursing me for ruining my best friend's big day.

 

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I am under immense stress right now and the situation seems to get worse only. For heaven’s sake, someone needs to save me from this insanity that is going around me. Am I being the difficult one or my friend is just making me go crazy and spend my money like it's my own wedding.”

 

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So here is our take on it:

      First of all girl, you need to calm down. It must have been a rollercoaster of emotions for you,  A job that was supposed to be a happy thing pretty much turned out to be a nightmare but don't stress out too much because you can still fix it.

 

The situation is definitely not an easy one for you to manage, given there is so much external pressure on you too at the moment. However, breathe in and breathe out, and think where you went wrong. Let’s divide the whole thing for you to understand.

 

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      In all of the chaos, both you and your friend forgot to enjoy the whole process. So clear your mind and think of your friend as a friend instead of a demon sucking life out of you. That’s too much negativity around you. Now read the situation, it is your best friend’s wedding, and he must be freaking out as much as you not only about the wedding event but also about starting a new life. When you will think of her as another girl just like you, everything will look a bit better to you.

 

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      There is no excuse for her to talk the way she did, and you need to tell her that she was way out of line. Maybe she is already guilty and would like to apologize for her behavior. The point is, do not come to any bitter conclusions without having one talk with your best friend. After all, she is your best friend, and she made you the biggest part of her wedding ceremony. You do matter to her but she is not good at expressing herself.

 

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      Do convey to your friend that a lot of the expenses are not your responsibility at all. For example, each of the bridesmaids is supposed to be paying for their own dresses. Throwing a bridal shower is on you but wedding decor and food are not. Politely tell her all these things instead of burning yourself out.

 

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      Buckle up and go peacefully talk to her if things pan out well between you two, awesome. However, if she is not willing to look at her behavior and reconcile then maybe both of you should call off this whole maid of honor situation. Become part of the conversation where she can assign this task to someone else who can do it her way. At the end of the day, it is her big day and she has all the rights to make it look the way she wants.

 

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      All the advice aside, listen to yourself for a second and see what your heart says. There is nothing better than your gut feeling. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better about the entire thing without hurting people. Peace of mind should always be a priority no matter what the convention suggests, it is always better to move away from hurtful places.